Family Friendly Insult?

Sometimes I fall into a situation where I don't actually need an insult, but I still feel like giving someone crap. Don't worry, that's just me being affectionate. ;)

So for those moments when you feel like being slightly random or perhaps are a tad bit confused by our surrounding generation.

My cure-all response for brothers,sisters, great-aunts, that weird co-worker,and the ice cream man who gave you the wrong change-- "You are strangely troublesome".

Life.

Life seems to happen quite frequently, consequently people seems to write about life-- a lot. Of course, Shakespeare's no slouch, so he wrote about life. Ehem. Basically death is part of life; death occurs in his tragedies...profound, right?
Well, there are several famous speeches in the tragedies that I'm thinking I'll use.

Macbeth says in his Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow speech that "life is but a walking shadow" I know that's pretty morbid. BUT!!! I'll make it fun.

(insert insult-able person/animal/object here) "[Your] life is but a walking shadow!"
TADAAAA! =D

Y'all have fun throwing your melodramatic fits!